


Black Cats and Bad Luck (or why this was never a good idea)

by death-by-ladybug (fandomchildd), fandomchildd



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Secret Identity Fail, Social Media, The Author Regrets Everything, The Ladyblog
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2020-10-06 21:23:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20513705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomchildd/pseuds/death-by-ladybug, https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandomchildd/pseuds/fandomchildd
Summary: The heroes of Paris, various celebrities, and their secret identities on social media.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is to be continued and it might never end.

Carapace Official @carapace

for real tho who put me on the ‘let’s gush over Ladybug’ group chat didn’t i explicitly say not to?

Ladybug Official @miraculous-ladybug

@carapace why am i not surprised that there’s a ‘let’s gush over Ladybug’ group chat and who started it Chat, Rena, or Queenie

a foxy lady @rena-rouge

@carapace boi

did you not get the memo

ladybug is not to know about the  _ other _ group chats

friendly neighborhood chat noir @miraculous-chatnoir

@carapace BRO

Queen Bee Official @queenbee

@miraculous-ladybug honey where else were we supposed to gush over you? 

NOT crushing on Ladybug @carapace

@rena-rouge i have eyes only for one girl and that’s you. let me leave the chat please

queenie @queenbee

@carapace you’re on the adrien agreste appreciation chat you can’t blame your girlfriend for being a little bit gay for a hot girl in a skin tight suit when you’re definitely a little gay for him

friendly neighborhood chat noir @miraculous-chatnoir

@queenbee there’s an adrien agreste appreciation chat??

queenie @queenbee

@miraculous-chatnoir honey where else were we supposed to fantasize about punching gabriel agreste and kidnapping/adopting adrien into a better family? 

a foxy lady @rena-rouge

@miraculous-chatnoir sunshine deserves better. i’ll adopt him so marinette (@marinettedesigned) or ladybug can marry him and then i’ll be related to one of them

MD-C @marinettedesigned

@rena-rouge better idea! have queenie adopt him bc they are literally siblings i swear or maybe @djnino

MD-C @marinettedesigned

@rena-rouge but if ladybug marries adrien then i call dibs on chat

Ladybug Official @miraculous-ladybug

@marinettedesigned how about you date adrien and i date chat noir and we impersonate each other to make out with both of them

MD-C @marinettedesigned

@miraculous-ladybug okay but hear me out how about one of us dates both of them at the same time but they never really know which one of us they’re dating

excuse me bish i could be marinette and you wouldn’t know @miraculous-ladybug

@marinettedesigned remember the days when i was a responsible hero and only posted about shit like akuma avoidance, safety, and occasionally fashion?

excuse ME bish i could be ladybug and you wouldn’t ever know @marinettedesigned

@miraculous-ladybug remember the days when i thought i was straight and in love with only one person?

excuse me bish i could be marinette and you wouldn’t know @miraculous-ladybug

@marinettedesigned and now we’re disaster bis who would totally make out with basically any of our friends if they asked and post shit like ‘oh yeah did you know chat noir has abs? bc i didn’t’ 

excuse ME bish i could be ladybug and you wouldn’t ever know @marinettedesigned

@miraculous-chatnoir hey kitty ladybug says you have abs is it true?

friendly neighborhood chat noir @miraculous-chatnoir

@marinettedesigned princess i’m a superhero. we  _ all _ have six packs

excuse me bish i could be marinette and you wouldn’t know @miraculous-ladybug

@miraculous-chatnoir you underestimate me i have an eight pack

Lady WiFi @alya.ladyblogger

@miraculous-chatnoir chat the world needs to know would you date adrien and unknown marinette/ladybug

friendly neighborhood chat noir @miraculous-chatnoir

@alya.ladyblogger hell yes i would

Lady WiFi @alya.ladyblogger

@adrienagrestebrand and you, sunshine?

Adrien Agreste @adrienagrestebrand

@alya.ladyblogger do you even have to ask? 

Penny Rolling @pennyrolling

@marinettedesigned Jagged wants to know when the designs for his newest album will be done, but Fang ate his phone. As you know, he’s quite impatient.

excuse ME bish i could be ladybug and you wouldn’t ever know @marinettedesigned

@pennyrolling oh yeah! it’s almost done, just have to add the finishing details and polish up a bit! 

wait wait wait WHAT did fang do? he ate a  _ phone _ ? is he okay?

Penny Rolling @pennyrolling

@marinettedesigned so far, Fang is fine. He coughed up the phone a few minutes ago and we already ordered a replacement.

excuse me bish i could be marinette and you wouldn’t know @miraculous-ladybug

@marinettedesigned hey bish, you know Jagged Stone?? and didn’t tell me???

excuse ME bish i could be ladybug and you wouldn’t ever know @marinettedesigned

@miraculous-ladybug i don’t necessarily advertise it! that’s all! Jagged is like an uncle to me and at some point i just kinda forgot he’s famous!!!

excuse me bish i could be marinette and you wouldn’t know @miraculous-ladybug

@marinettedesigned jk i knew

but for real can you like redesign my suit bc i want pockets!!!!

hey fashion designers y’all are assholes GIVE US REAL POCKETS @marinettedesigned

@miraculous-ladybug YES. yes. i’ll give you pockets. i’ll give you ALL THE POCKETS. ALL OF THEM. ALL OF THE POCKETS  _ SEWN SHUT _ ON EVERY PAIR OF GIRLS’ JEANS EVER.

give us pockets cowards @miraculous-ladybug

@marinettedesigned i have nothing to do someone get adrien

marinette gave my jeans POCKETS @alya.ladyblogger

@miraculous-ladybug nino is breaking into his house to drag him out now

give him a second he’s kinda weak

NOT crushing on Ladybug @carapace

@alya.ladyblogger you should totally date me instead! i have a six pack!

a foxy lady @rena-rouge

@carapace no you don't but  _ i _ do

friendly neighborhood chat noir @miraculous-chatnoir

@rena-rouge my lady has an eight pack  _ f i t e m e _

a foxy lady @rena-rouge 

@miraculous-chatnoir and how do you know that, hmm? 

friendly neighborhood chat noir @miraculous-chatnoir

@rena-rouge we’ve been fighting akumas for how long?? at least twenty percent of the battles have involved falling on top of each other or being trapped together or having to grab each other to get out of the way of akumas??

a foxy lady @rena-rouge 

@miraculous-chatnoir sometimes i remember that underneath all the flirting you’re actually pretty pure, chat

give us pockets cowards @miraculous-ladybug

@rena-rouge hands off! he’s  _ my _ kitty

idk who kidnapped me father it wasn’t my fault @agrienagrestebrand

@djnino i was going to ask wth you’re doing climbing my wall to get to my balcony but this explains it

nino @djnino

@miraculous-ladybug i got the model. where should this beautiful fox deliver him?

a foxy lady @rena-rouge 

@djnino i never said i was going to help you take him to ladybug tho!

nino @djnino

@rena-rouge c’mon this is our chance to make ladrien canon then we can work on adrinette marichat and ladynoir later

multishipper @rena-rouge 

@djnino you underestimate me what about maribug and adrinoir

remember when i thought the heroes were cool? @alya.ladyblogger

@rena-rouge ladrien FITE ME

remember when i thought the heroes were cool? @alya.ladyblogger

@djnino @marinettedesigned @miraculous-chatnoir @queenbee @thechloebourgeois @carapace @rena-rouge get this LADYBUG IS  _ ACTUALLY  _ MAKING OUT WITH ADRIEN AGRESTE ON SOME RANDOM ROOF

Jagged Stone @jaggedstone

@miraculous-ladybug you go girl! 

hey fashion designers y’all are assholes GIVE US REAL POCKETS @marinettedesigned

@jaggedstone this is why you’re my favorite adult

just a genderfluid pan @bugaboy55

Oh my god??? LADRIEN?

;) @ladrien4ever

YES LADYBUG GET THAT AGRESTE ASS

i heard ladybug? @gayforladybug

lskfjlsfjlfslflkdfkl

Gabriel Agreste @gabrielagresteofficial

Adrien, stop this nonsense at once and return home.

okay maybe ladrien is a little hot @miraculous-chatnoir

@gabrielagresteofficial i don’t know if you’re aware but most people don’t check their notifications while making out with ladybug and besides you think my lady is going to let him go anytime soon?

appurreciate the damn cat @bugaboy55

@miraculous-chatnoir Chat Noir you deserve all the love can all guys be like you please? I want a guy who’ll defend his rival from an asshole family member!

Chloe Bourgeois @thechloebourgeois 

@bugaboy55 then get yourself a girl, honey

hey fashion designers y’all are assholes GIVE US REAL POCKETS @marinettedesigned

@thechloebourgeois such a mood, chlo

remember when i thought the heroes were cool? @alya.ladyblogger

okay they’re gone now

give us pockets cowards @miraculous-ladybug

@alya.ladyblogger i’m back! 

idk who kidnapped me father it wasn’t my fault @agrienagrestebrand

@miraculous-ladybug do you think if i stay silent father will think i didn’t see his post

Nathalie Sancoeur @nathaliesancoeur 

@adrienagrestebrand I think it’s already too late for that, Adrien.

idk who kidnapped me father it wasn’t my fault @agrienagrestebrand

whoops! 


	2. Chapter 2

Gabriel Agreste @gabrielagresteofficial

@adrienagrestebrand Get back here this instant!

give us pockets cowards @miraculous-ladybug

@gabrielagresteofficial give girls’ jeans pockets and i’ll drop him off in his room

Gabriel Agreste @gabrielagresteofficial 

@miraculousladybug What for? It’s much more stylish to carry a purse, Ladybug. 

give us pockets cowards @miraculous-ladybug

@gabrielagresteofficial ohhh i see what this is about. you just want to sell more purses!! 

Gabriel Agreste @gabrielagresteofficial 

@miraculousladybug Plenty of women’s clothes have pockets. If they need to carry something, take a purse. 

give us pockets cowards @miraculous-ladybug

@gabrielagresteofficial yeah how about _ no _. women deserve pockets just as much as anyone else. i’m tired of wimpy pockets and all those bullshit excuses for not giving us equality. i’m not saying women deserve more than men, i’m saying they deserve the same things that men get easily. like birth control. safe abortion. equal rights. being able to walk down a singular fucking street without being wolf whistled. i’m saying that pockets are just another shitty example of how many men can’t handle that maybe they AREN’T better than everyone else. 

give my lady pockets @miraculous-chatnoir

@miraculous-ladybug let’s talk about these supersuits. mine has pockets and detailing and zippers and a tail and ears and cat’s eyes. carapace and viperion are both rocking the shell/scaled armor look. roi singe has this whole sweatshirt thing and zippers and a tail and textures. pegasus has textures and patterns and all that. 

rena rouge has a tail and ears. ryuko has horns and a bit of texture as well as weird eyes. queen bee has a streak of black in her hair (it’s really awesome queenie your hair looks AMAZING). and let’s face it ladybug might as well be wearing pajamas.

do you see the difference? why do us guys get super awesome suits and all the ladies who could beat us in less than five minutes get very simple suits? #pocketsforladybug

hey fashion designers y’all are assholes GIVE US REAL POCKETS @marinettedesigned

@thechloebourgeois back me up here chat is the best hero #pocketsforladybug

gay for ladybug @thechloebourgeois

@marinettedesigned he and ladybug are tied. ladybug is hotter but chat is super sweet. he’ll fight for ladybug and knows to compliment my hair #pocketsforladybug

Max Kante @hackerboi

It is in fact scientifically proven that while it is much easier for men to build muscle, women live longer. This means that, when you die, your wife will live on and spend all your money undoing the damage you inflicted on this world while gossiping about trends and fighting for equality. #pocketsforladybug is going viral, I wonder what this says about popular opinions. I could do an in-depth analysis of equality if anyone needs it.

give us pockets cowards @miraculous-ladybug

@hackerboi so max i’m assuming you’re done with the ‘girls aren’t as good at video games’ bullshit

Max Kante @hackerboi

@miraculous-ladybug I have _ never _ seen someone beat @marinettedesigned in Ultimate Mecha Strike Three or my in-progress video game. @s-katergurl is unbeatable in Mario Kart or any other racing game. While many women _ don’t _ play video games, not all men play video games. @a-rtistbi couldn’t play a video game to save his life. 

tomato @a-rtistbi 

@s-katergurl someone get Kim

ALIX FUCKING KUBEL @s-katergurl 

@a-rtistbi i’ve got this

@i-llprovideyouralibi @i-llprovideyouralibi @i-llprovideyouralibi @i-llprovideyouralibi @i-llprovideyouralibi @i-llprovideyouralibi @i-llprovideyouralibi @i-llprovideyouralibi hey loser come look at max’s post

should i be worried @i-llprovideyouralibi

@s-katergurl hey bish it’s for a noble cause i’ll admit that you’re unbeatable at racing games #pocketsforladybug

ALIX FUCKING KUBEL @s-katergurl 

@i-llprovideyouralibi 

i...

i don’t know what to say!

i’m honored ;)

  


remember when i thought the heroes were cool? @alya.ladyblogger

is it just me or are ladybug & chat noir arm wrestling on the roof across from my house…

nino @djnino

@alya.ladyblogger ,,babe it’s not just you

random fandom @randomfandom

@alya.ladyblogger It’s been going on for a while, actually! Around twenty minutes ish? I’m not sure, I can’t get a good view. 

remember when i thought the heroes were cool? @alya.ladyblogger

@randomfandom rEally?

random fandom @randomfandom

@alya.ladyblogger Here! Proof. 

remember when i thought the heroes were cool? @alya.ladyblogger

@randomfandom someone was livestreaming a ladynoir arm wrestling match and no one told me???

appurreciate the damn cat @bugaboy55

@alya.ladyblogger i tried to @ you but my wifi crashed sorry!

remember when i thought the heroes were cool? @alya.ladyblogger

@bugaboy55 glad to know the fans tried to have my back

i heard ladybug? @gayforladybug

@alya.ladyblogger i’m in the area, i’ll see if i can get a good angle for my favorite reporter

give us pockets cowards @miraculous-ladybug

@alya.ladyblogger aaaaaaalya help chat’s teasing me for using my nose to reply to you and i WILL NOT BACK OUT YOU ASSHOLE CAT

give my lady pockets @miraculous-chatnoir

@alya.ladyblogger aaaaaaalya help my lady is teasing me with the cutest nose boop typing ever and at this point it’s just an honor thing i can’t back out

give us pockets cowards @miraculous-ladybug

@alya.ladyblogger aaaaaaalya help chaton is using his unfairly adorable kitty eyes against me i need backup

give my lady pockets @miraculous-chatnoir

@alya.ladyblogger aaaaaaalya help bugaboo turned it into a staring contest tooooo

give us pockets cowards @miraculous-ladybug

@alya.ladyblogger aaaaaaalya help that damn cat needs to stop being cute i will not lose this to him

remember when i thought the heroes were cool? @alya.ladyblogger

@gayforladybug gurl you’re really sweet thanks!

@miraculous-ladybug @miraculous-chatnoir you two should kiss

give us pockets cowards @miraculous-ladybug

@miraculous-chatnoir OH MY GOD MINOU HOW DID YOU FALL FOR THAT??? I WOOOOOONNNNNNNNN 

give my lady pockets @miraculous-chatnoir

@alya.ladyblogger …tell ladybug she cheated

remember when i thought the heroes were cool? @alya.ladyblogger

@gayforladybug did you catch that? i missed it. :(

i heard ladybug? @gayforladybug

@alya.ladyblogger …she grabbed his bell with her free hand and kissed him and won when he melted into the kiss

i have NO WORDS

remember when i thought the heroes were cool? @alya.ladyblogger

@gayforladybug gurl, it’s ladynoir what did you expect?

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos greatly appreciated!  
My tumblr is death-by-ladybug.


End file.
